I’m not a hero. I mean OK, sure, I haven’t run in over a year. I still can’t walk up the stairs without getting winded from the pneumonia I had five months ago. I put a crib together today. But my boys are in a youth track club, and today was the mile. And you […]
In honor of my day, a very important ranking. 1. JET Clearly number one, it’s one of two settings that you’ll ever actually use. It’s functional and fun. Equally up to the task of cleaning up messes and mowing down your children in a water fight. Both very important. 2. SHOWER The other setting that […]
The other day I had an epiphany: soon I won’t have to rely solely on dad jokes. I can now add Father of the Bride quotes to the repertoire (unironically). I’m very excited. Here are some examples of the things you can come to expect from me for the rest of my life. “For two […]
“Nick Jr.” I hear that a lot about my kids. Pretty much anytime someone interacts with them. Even though it typically follows some loud or obnoxious thing they’ve done, I always take it as a compliment. Not because I think it has any reflection on me, but because my kids are awesome. And I choose […]
As I was perusing Twitter this morning, I stumbled upon on this heartwarming piece. In China, where the birth rate is plummeting, *they are now letting families have three kids instead of two. In America, where the birth rate is also plummeting, I’m supposed to perform some thought exercise. For the sake of this blog […]
I’ve pontificated once or twice about my gaming prowess in the past, but these days my gaming is pretty much limited to 2048 on my phone. I have had very little desire to buy up the latest consoles over the years; I have no need for them and I care very little about my children’s […]
LeBron James said that one time. Actually it was twice. He also said he prefers that people don’t use disrespectful words towards him due to that fact. We have these things in common. Here’s a comprehensive list of things LeBron James and I have in common: three kids two sons and one daughter shouldn’t be […]
talking in class needing to be the center of attention being loud and disruptive yet somehow still mumbles regularly being a smartass* being completely unaware of what’s going on around you dragging your feet as you walk forgetting to do something two minutes after you’re asked to do it Most of these are a lot […]
For your viewing pleasure. I have some thoughts. First, obviously this is remarkable and will win every award imaginable. Emilio Estevez is back as Gordon Bombay in this tour de force return to the ice. That guy from Letterkenny looks like he might be a funny dickhead. So that’s cool. The kid at the end […]
This weekend was one of those magical moments in time when grandma offers to take the children. No questions asked. I mean sure I worked the whole weekend. And the ol’ ball-and-chain was gone for a good chunk of it. And since I let slip the kiddos were gone I had to spend time with […]
Not One to Brag 