Do You Have a Favorite Kid?

In case you weren’t aware, I have three children. Being the seasoned veteran that I am, I recently had someone pick my brain a bit about having kids. Did you always wants to have kids? How did you decide? Is it expensive? How do you balance everything?

OK take it easy there pal. This is a hockey game, not a parenting class. But one question particularly piqued my interest, because it’s not something you actually talk about as a parent: do you, or parents in general, have a favorite kid? I shared my experience with them, and now I will with you.

We had large child like nine years ago. Yeah that sounds right. Nine years ago. He was, and is, awesome. A little loud for my liking, but I deal with it. Roughly two years later, we had middle child. Also awesome. Not as loud.

A few months after he was born, I moved for a new job. When I say “I,” I mean “I.” The boys and my wife stayed back for two more months until they were able to join me. We would visit each other on the weekends, but it was a tough time. Harder for her, certainly, having to raise two kids on her own essentially. But I barely got to see my family, including my newborn.

This made it difficult to get to know him and develop a bond. On top of that, he was the second born. Now to me, it wasn’t so much that large child was the first born, like I had some kind of preference for him. It was that he was the only child. For two years it was just me, mom, and him. And now there’s this new dude that I rarely get to hang out with. Large child wasn’t my favorite, but I absolutely had a different relationship with him.

Ultimately I think every parent’s experience is different. I had unique challenges in my parenting journey that led to a weird transition from one kid to two. But I loved them both equally, and eventually this dynamic changed and all of our relationships grew. Now I am equally annoyed by both of them, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

There are billions of people in the world, and I am therefore guessing there are billions of parents. Some people are great, some people suck. I think it’s safe to assume that some parents definitely have a favorite child. Simple probability. When it comes to me and my kids, though, it’s the baby. Definitely the baby.

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