I’ve been a father of three for about a month now. There were a lot of unknowns going into number three: What’s life going to be like with a third kid? Do I remember anything about babies? What vehicle are we going to buy? Daycare. When can I start buying hockey equipment? You know, the usual stuff.
It turns out you end up kind of worrying about stuff that doesn’t really matter. You figure things out. You live your new life. And it’s been pretty wonderful. Baby girl has fit right in. The boys have been great with their baby sister. Mom’s been awesome. Dad’s been OK.
Since she’s been around for a little bit now, I figured it’s high time we grade her performance a month into the season. There have been some great things obviously, but there is certainly room for improvement. However, we need to keep in mind that she’s just a baby, and will be judged accordingly. An objective look at the baby:
Pro
-has the strength of 10 babies
Con
-not very coordinated
Pro
-can stand up when being held
Con
-can’t stand up when not being held, can’t walk
Pro
-luxurious hair like her father
Con
-none
Pro
-she is awake more often
Con
-who knows when the hell that’s going to be; doesn’t do shit but fill her diaper
Pro
-makes more sounds
Con
-mostly unintelligible gibberish; sometimes in the form of cries or screams
Pro
-has handled the chaos of her brothers quite well
Con
-I have not
Pro
-good at snuggling
Con
-constant need for attention
Pro
-good eater
Con
-picky eater; unwilling to try new things
Pro
-detail oriented
Con
-can discern between me standing or sitting while holding her and has a different preference than I do
Pro
-cute
Con
-none
As you can see, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. It can be pretty tough out here in these parenting streets. But when you analyze these facts in a fair, objective way, it’s clear she’s better than other babies. Early results indicate top 3 baby of all-time.
First Month Grade: A+