Last weekend, character designs for the new God of War game were released. I’ve never owned a PlayStation and haven’t played a second of the series. So even though it all looks pretty interesting, I don’t know shit about the story or the mythology of the game. I’m assuming there is some fashion of warring involved. Potentially even gods.

Ahh yes, there are definitely gods. People (on the internet) were big mad over the way *Thor is portrayed in this game. Really there were more people upset about people not liking Thor than people not liking Thor, but that doesn’t help me here. So I’ll focus on the 17 people that weren’t happy with Thor’s tum tum.

You may have heard that I enjoy the occasional MCU flick which happens to star a version of Thor. Said Thor is also how I’ve always pictured the man god. But from what I can tell, this may very well be an accurate depiction of a fake character. Even if it isn’t, if you have a problem with this robust creature, you’ve got a dump in your pants. Cui gives a shit? It’s a video game.

However. I do have a problem here.

You can’t just give him more hair (on his head) and give him a hammer and try to convince the world this guy isn’t modelled after me.

You’re telling me these aren’t the same people? He even has fancy jewelry like me. An injustice has occurred here and I will be waiting to hear from representatives from Santa Monica Studios and Sony on a plan for compensation to make this right.

Alternate title for this blog: Thor’s Thunder Thighs Throw Tens in a Tizzy.

*Thor is the Norse god of thunder and lightning.