Including using this thing.

Have you ever wanted a device to suck the snot out of someone’s nose? Then boy do I have the product for you. I know what you’re thinking, there must be more to this thing. There is not. You stick one end in the baby’s nose. You stick the other end in your mouth. You suck the snot out. I promise it’s not as disgusting as it sounds. But it is still very disgusting. It works great, but it’s disgusting.

But I’ll continue to do it. Because my eldest are filth monsters and will probably continue to get the baby sick. And she’ll have snot that needs to get sucked out. I’ll suck that snot right out. I’ll catch the puke in my bare hands. I’ll get poop all over my hands so it doesn’t get on her foot. I don’t care. Because me and Meat Loaf have a lot in common.

But I will do that.