About two or three or four nights ago (who can keep track anymore) I once again stumbled into bed after falling asleep on the couch. If you live with me, you know this isn’t that odd of an occurrence. On this night, however, I was for some reason pinned into place by our blanket.

I’m almost as likely to just sleep on the couch as I am to sleep in my bed, so I just assumed my wife was selfishly hogging the blankets. She had been pregnant for approximately 38-39 weeks at this point, so I didn’t really care. Let sleeping pregnant women lie, as they say. Being at the complete mercy of another person when it comes to your ability to sleep is kind of inconvenient, but that’s fine. IT’S A BABY or whatever.

Well luckily she’s not pregnant anymore and I don’t have to deal in these uncertainties any longer. I will soon be blessed with long, sleep-filled nights once again.

Oh also it was actually just the fitted sheet and I was pinned there because it was a fitted sheet.