I usually recommend having it on July 4th, but that’s just me. Get it? Cause July 4th is a day and also what we call Independence Day. So that’s probably the best day to have the 4th of July. Hahahahahaha.

But of course that’s not what I meant. Not all 4th of Julys are created equal. There are seven days in the week, seven possible 4ths. I’d hope some of you people actually have to work every once in awhile like myself, so I won’t be assuming any days off. If you work retail (I don’t) this list doesn’t apply. Sorry. Let’s rank some shit.

1. Friday – You get a three-day weekend, and it’s Friday. No brainer.
2. Saturday – Maybe you’re lucky and get Friday off, then you’ve still got a solid three-day weekend. Even with two days, Saturday is way better than Sunday.
3. Thursday – If you get the 5th off, this is the most elite of the elite. Four days of summer blissfulness.
4. Monday – A three-day weekend, but not really the kind you want.
5. Sunday – I definitely thought going into this weekend that Sunday would be one of the worst days to have the 4th of July. After doing some extensive, hands-on testing, I can confirm.
6. Tuesday – I have to think best case scenario here without using vacation time is you get the day off. Middle case scenario is you get done early. Worst case scenario is you work all day and then get to go to work again the next day.
7. Wednesday – Gross.