10. Frosty the Snowman

-too cold

9. Drake

-only loves his bed and his momma

8. a shepherd

-prevent me from counting sheep, somehow, I don’t know, it made more sense at 2am

7. Human torch

-too hot

6. Beastie Boys

-no sleep till Brooklyn

5. The Narrator/Tyler Durden from Fight Club

-too chaotic

4. Annie Wilkes from Misery

-too torturey

3. Freddy Krueger

-too murdery

2. someone other than my wife

-nah honey I’m good

1. my son

-sleeping with him is like being in a Give Yourself Goosebumps book except he has total control; it’s brutal