Pixar’s latest flick, Luca, is coming out next week. It looks to be another lovely movie for the whole family. A beautiful coming-of-age tale about friendship or something. Cool story bro.

What about the proliferation of adult themes in these movies? Death/murder. Whether or not living cars have organs. Characters named Lord Farquaad. You can find countless stories online about the number one taboo subject; doing it. “LOL, I can’t believe they got away with putting THIS in a children’s movie. It’s a dick joke LMFAO!”

Yeah but what about the songs? That’s where the memories come from. Nobody was quoting Hans after Frozen came out, but you may have heard a little jingle called “Let It Go.” So let’s examine a few songs that probably shouldn’t be in these movies.

Rio 2 – Low

“Low” is an absolute banger. Flo Rida and and T-Pain are magic together. Not sure it belongs in a film aimed at the youth.

I ain’t never seen nothin’ that’ll make me go
This crazy all night spendin’ my dough
Had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go
Them birthday cakes they stole the show
So sexual, she was flexible, professional, drinkin’ X and O
Hold up, wait a minute, do I see what I think? I, whoa

It doesn’t really get less provocative from there.

Snow White – Heigh-Ho

I realize this song is from a by-gone era. But what are we touching the children when we have 7 grown men running around yelling “Hi ho!!!!” everyday? I mean I guess it worked, they got a a princess to live with them. You know what I’m saying though.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse – Sunflower

Some might argue this isn’t a “kid’s” movie per se, but yeah, it is. So what about the song? It’s a beautiful ode to the persistence of love.

Ooh-ooh-ooh
Some things you just can’t refuse
She wanna ride me like a cruise
And I’m not tryna lose

I’ve been on a cruise. I don’t think Swae Lee is talking about magic shows, knock-off handbags, and unlimited food from the lido deck. I think he’s talking about sex.

Wreck-It Ralph – Shut Up and Drive

Listen to this song one time. I don’t know that you could even say the lyrics are metaphorical. They’re about as subtle as a kick to the groin. More enjoyable though.

Trolls 2 – Get Back Up Again

This song just sucks and shouldn’t exist.

At the end of the day, this doesn’t even bother me. I think Rihanna can teach us all a lot about life. And if she can teach my boys where their sister came from, more power to her.