You ever heard of the Dream Team? Of course you have, but here’s a little refresher. FIBA decided to allow NBA players to play in the Olympics starting in 1992, so the United States of America put together a little team consisting of the best basketball players on the planet and Christian Laettner: the Dream Team. The most competitive part of that Olympics were the American team’s practices. Because we have the greatest athletes in the world. Sure the gap isn’t as big now, but it’s there.

Fast forward to the 2020/2021 Tokyo Olympics. One of the new sports this time around is 3×3 basketball, or 3-on-3 as regular people call it. Seeing as we’re the greatest sporting nation of all time, and basketball is probably our number two sport in terms of greatness (football obviously #1), this will be a cakewalk. Three dudes, pure athleticism, sprinkle in some shooting. Just roll the ball out and let’s take home this gold.

Let’s check out the team:

Umm, OK. We’re starting with Robbie Hummel, that’s not promising. Maybe he’s the bench guy and this list is just alphabetical.

So it is alphabetical (last names people). That’s good, but uh, what’s Fort Hays State University?

If you’re from Eagan, MN and you play basketball I question your intelligence.

If a player is from Princeton I question the general manager’s intelligence. This isn’t great.

But wait!!!

Hummel, who reinvented himself as one of the world’s best 3×3 players, was the 2019 World Cup MVP.

Brian Windhorst – ESPN

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, Nick. We could’ve probably put together a stronger squad, says the guy who knows very little about basketball, but we have a guy that REINVENTED himself. Bring on all challengers!!!

Dammit, I forgot about Netherlands.