Late last night a story broke about New York Mets GM Jared Porter sending “explicit, unsolicited texts and images to a female reporter in 2016.” He has since been fired, hence the title. Everyone knows the kind of pics he was sending need to be solicited, not unsolicited. But I’m not here to talk about the content of this scumbag’s texts. I’ll let much more intelligent people do that.

No. I want to discuss something else. This clown at one point sent 62 straight texts with no response. Call me crazy, but at some point maybe you should take a hint. I’m not fully versed on how scumbag brains work though. Forget for a second that he sent 62 in a row. How are you sending 62+ texts to a person you essentially don’t even know? I bet it takes me four months to send that many texts to my wife. Especially if you exclude these exchanges.

One of the very funny jokes I like to tell people that say they only use their phone for calls and texts is those are the last things I would want to use my phone for. Of course they think I’m joking (I’m not) and it gets a big laugh. I’m thinking about switching over to one of these old person plans to get the best bang for my buck.

Side note: If you’re over the age of 65 and you’re considering paying more than $3 for texts, you need to take stock of your life. If you’re of any age and you’re texting 1000+ times in a month, we are not the same and I fundamentally will never be able to comprehend how you function.