At my place of employment we have something called “Retail Radio.” It’s exactly what it sounds like; it’s the station pumping an eclectic mix of music throughout the building. The only time it really changes is when they start playing the Christmas music.

I enjoy the occasional yuletide tune, so I’m OK when the December mix hits the airwaves. I get to hear countless Christmas songs that I’ve never heard before. OK countless might be a bit of an exaggeration. It’s like 14 songs on repeat, but the point still stands. I am an unabashed fan of “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey, however. Easily the best Christmas song ever. That was until recently.

A new song has penetrated my brain. At least it’s new to me. A quick search on Spotify this morning told me it came out in 2018. I also learned that Sia was the artist. The more you know. I present to you “Underneath the Christmas Lights,” the new Christmas song champion.

Just kidding that song is terrible. It might actually be the worst. Long live Mariah.