It’s been a minute since I’ve studied my scripture, so I needed a little refresher on the order of the Ten Commandments. Not as straight forward as I remember. My word there are a lot of interpretations; the verbiage, the order, even the actual Commandments. I always thought religion was pretty cut and dried. Who knew? I found this list that seemed to line up the most with my recollections, so that’s what we’re rolling with today.

1. 4. Honor thy father and mother. As a son I feel it is important to heed one’s parents. Number one by a mile. Something I hadn’t thought about until I was writing this is the fact that I am also a father. Weird coincidence.
2. 3. Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day. Or as I always like to say, “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.” My interpretation of this was always you shouldn’t work on Sunday. I agree. I shouldn’t work. The Green Bay Packers should, but I shouldn’t.
3. 5. Thou shalt not kill. I mean, yes? Seems like a pretty big one.
4. 7. Thou shalt not steal. I like my possessions and would like to keep them, thank you very much.
5. 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Speaking of possessions, what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is yours.
6. 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife. You can have her. Your husband though, ma’am, is quite delectable.
7. 8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. I don’t really know my neighbor that well, but there’s at least a reasonable chance that I would bear false witness against them.
8. 1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any strange gods before Me. Nothing against the Lord thy God, I just thought the other Commandments made a stronger case. Thor is pretty cool, though.
9. 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods. Uhh, what’s the point of even living? Wanting what other people have is the only thing that motivates me.
10. 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Jesus Christ.

On a completely unrelated note, The Ten Commandments is an absolute classic. I am off to find a way to illegally stream it.