The Worst Kids Show Ever

My kids don’t watch much television or play on their tablets very often. I have cultivated a strict culture of limited/no technology in our house.

Yeah right. Someone has to be responsible for them, and I already pay for Netflix so I don’t see much point in a babysitter. Those two could probably run their Teams meetings every week.

As the resident TV watching expert in my household, I’m typically in control of the remote. But like Xerxes in 300, I am a generous god and occasionally let the children pick what they want to watch. If there’s anything I’ve learned during my time as a father (there isn’t), it’s that the quality of these shows varies immensely.

I am a child in a lot of ways, so just because I would rather watch The Boys doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on with Pokémon. When all else fails, that seems to be their go-to. Not my favorite kid show, but it’s serviceable enough for a man-child like myself. There are some quality programs, ranging from “this doesn’t make me want to run into traffic” to “actually good.”

They recently started (and finished) watching Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. I’ve been on the internet long enough to know those are genuinely considered to be good shows, regardless of age. Gravity Falls, Cupcake & Dino, and Teen Titans Go! are programs I would also lump into the “entertaining” faction of kids shows. But just like there are good ones, there are terrible ones as well.

Kong: King of the Apes is what I was watching when I started thinking about this.

Set in 2050, Kong becomes a wanted fugitive after wrecking havoc at Alcatraz Island’s Natural History and Marine Preserve. What most humans on the hunt for the formidable animal don’t realize, though, is that Kong was framed by an evil genius who plans to terrorize the world with an army of enormous robotic dinosaurs. As the only beast strong enough to save humanity from the mechanical dinos, Kong must rely on the help of three kids who know the truth about him.

Entertainment Weekly

It’s very stupid, but nothing too offensive. A show that I can’t forgive for existing, however, is Miniforce. Every single time it ends up on my TV, I tell my children it’s the worst show in existence. Of course they don’t care. They’re savages. I don’t care about their opinions. This is unequivocally the worst show I’ve ever seen.

I had to test the videos and literally just started laughing at that theme song. Is that armor or do they turn into robots? The dubbing is terrible. The dialogue is worse. Parents: take any measures necessary to never watch this show.

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