Tender Lumplings Everywhere

EUREKA!!!! It’s Nightmare Before Christmas season, the best time of year. It’s the time of year where you can watch The Nightmare Before Christmas any and everyday if you so choose and your wife can’t look at you like you’re a total moron. Cherish these moments people.

If you couldn’t already tell, I love The Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s been one of my favorite movies since the first time I saw it, but my appreciation for it seems to grow every year. And now I have kids that love it just as much as I do.

The other day those kids wanted to watch it, so of course I obliged. I don’t know what I was doing — probably playing on twitter or banging away on some blog post — but I wasn’t really watching it with them. Nevertheless, I was enjoying the film anyway due to the wonderful musical numbers. I could “watch” this movie without any video and still love it. I could probably do the opposite and watch it without any sound, too. Great film.

Anywho, aside from being probably most likely the greatest musical in the history of all the cosmos (South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut is in the argument), The Nightmare Before Christmas is filled with incredible characters that deserve examination. Let’s examine:

Sally

Sally – Undead? Doll?

I’m gonna start with Sally. She’s probably the most “normal” “person” in Halloween Town. That’s all well and good, but she’s rather unremarkable otherwise. She’s pretty critical in the story and I would say a necessity, but she’s about as boring as this paragraph. The best part about her is that I just realized that she’s voiced by Moira Rose from one Schitt’s Creek (great show btw).

Zero

Zero – Dog

The only reason I would ever get a dog is to name it Zero. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

Oogie Boogie

The shadow on the moon at night, filling our dreams to the brim with fright.

Oogie Boogie is no doubt a certified POS, but the man is an artistic genius. I mean just look at this tour de force featuring Sandy Claws.

Pure sex.

Lock, Shock, and Barrel

Lock, Shock, Barrel!

Oogie’s Boys count two boys and one girl as their members. Damn millennial assholes are out here ruining everything. Real go-getters but are incredibly selfish. Also pretty evil. If only they would just leave that no-account Oogie Boogie out of this. I love them.

The Mayor of Halloween Town

Self-Aware Mayor

The Mayor is useless. “Jack, please, I’m only an elected official here, I can’t make decisions by myself!” But there’s something to be said about understanding your flaws and putting a team around you to overcome your shortcomings. *author of this blog looks in mirror*

Dr. Finkelstein

Dr. Finkelstein – Mad Scientist

Another prick on the board: Dr. Finkelstein. But really what can you expect from a mad scientist genius? Control freak. Locks Sally up whenever possible. Clearly doesn’t respect hygiene. But hey, he turned a bag of bones into flying reindeer.

Jack Skellington

The Pumpkin King

Chief strategist. Musical savant. Leader of men. Bone daddy. The Pumpkin king himself. Jack Skellington. I don’t know what I can say about Jack that hasn’t been said by lazy bloggers over the last 27 years. He’s the engine that makes Halloween Town go. He lit a fire under Santa’s ass to get that second-rate holiday Christmas up to snuff. The greatest skeleton that ever lived(?).

There’s a debate every year on the interwebs about whether this is a Halloween or Christmas movie. I don’t know about you, but I don’t see Jack Skellington all over Target and Walgreen’s during Christmas season. So obviously the answer is both.

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