I sell cell phones for a living. Well, I don’t really, but people around me do. And that’s basically the same thing. I don’t really know that much about them (the people or the phones), but I have to have a certain amount of knowledge because I’m a responsible employee. Because of that I get a ton of articles on my various news feeds about the latest and greatest.

There are two or three phone releases a year that most people care about in the U.S. of A. And we’re coming up on the last one: the iPhone. There are rumors swirling about all kinds of new apple devices right now. AirPods, HomePod, iPads, Apple Watch, you name it. Here’s a decent roundup by MacRumors regarding some of the latest Mac rumors. As a cell phone salesman by proxy, I pretty much only care about the iPhone though.

So what’s so great about the newest iPhone (or any phone)? Umm, better processor, the camera’s upgraded, the screen’s better (probably), and improved battery life. That sounds about right. Oh, there are going to be four versions with a confusing naming structure and they’re adding 5G. The real groundbreaker here is the release date. Nothing is official yet obviously, but it’s looking like we’re not getting the upgrades until October.

Typically Apple releases the new iPhone in like week three of September. That’s give or take exactly when my birthday and anniversary are, so being the very important person that I am, I celebrate these things at work with my closest strangers. But not this year. This will be the first time I’ve had our anniversary off, which is nice because it’s the 10th. I hear that’s something people think is important. It will also be the *first time I’ve had my birthday off since a Loud Party Violation in Winona, MN.

Literally this whole post was just to tell you I’m getting like four days off. Thanks for reading.

*There was one year I didn’t have a job yet when we moved to Ithaca, NY, but that didn’t sound as flashy.