Over the last few years, it has become increasingly popular for people to point out their “spirit animals” whenever they perceive some other individual to share some personality trait with themselves. Usually this other person is some sort of celebrity. The trait tends to lean towards pointing out how stupid other people are, being antisocial, or just an outright asshole. The declaration is usually accompanied by this gesture:

At least that’s how it works for me. The problem with all of this is that these spirit animals are just other people. They aren’t even animals at all!!! That just isn’t right. So let’s get zoological with it.

I’m so philosophical and deep that I unintentionally discovered my own personal spirit animal during a conversation with my family yesterday. That animal: a hippo. Now I can imagine what ideas this might conjure up at first mention, but you have to look beyond the surface to find some true meaning. From Trusted Psychic Mediums:

The hippopotamus spirit animal reminds you that you are born great, and you have the potential to become whoever you want to be. The hippopotamus symbolism demonstrates strength and courage, calmness during times of crisis, maternal instincts, and the ability to navigate through your emotions with clarity.

I mean I am great, but the rest of that doesn’t really have a “Nick” vibe to it. So how is the hippo my spirit animal? Well let me tell you. I don’t know how we got to this point in the conversation, but I was explaining to large child how despite what we often see about hippos, they are in fact quite dangerous.

I’m not allowed to make any claims without some sort of evidence, so tell me more about dangerous hippos, dad.

You see, hippos are huge, have monster teeth, and can open their mouth a mile wide. Scary stuff. However, they are pretty lazy and seemingly indifferent to the world around them. You know how dad sometimes doesn’t like when people are around him and he can get annoyed? Yeah, that’s how hippos are. They just relax in their filth, but if someone bugs them, they attack. Kind of like dad, but I just get mad.

I’m paraphrasing there, but I think everyone got the point. Here’s a video of people annoying me.

If you want to learn more about spirit animals, make sure to check out the third best movie to have on while falling asleep.