Selling Sunset

Listen, I like trashy reality shows as much as the next guy. And I love the real estate genre, à la Million Dollar Listing. But Selling Sunset, my god. I’m a few episodes into the recently released third season, and this is a whole different level of who gives a shit.

Beef runs these shows, but can we move forward a little bit with Christine? “Oh, she said something mean to Chrishell (what a name).” “Christine was rude to Mary.” “She’s better at this job than Davina.” Fascinating.

What makes it worse are the clearly scripted one-off conversations that happen at every turn. I don’t care that they’re fake, like, no shit? But my kids would be more interesting to listen to. “Oh hey, what do you think about that thing that happened in the last scene” “It was definitely crazy, but I completely disagree with your opinion on the matter.”

Seemingly half of the cast is getting married at any given moment in time. Of course those can’t happen without some classic infighting. People don’t get invited to the right events. They don’t like the significant other. This one is getting divorced over text. It doesn’t end.

The drama is shitty, but I could live with it because, hey, it’s reality TV. But could we once in awhile, like maybe even one-time an episode, sell a house? Jesus Christ. I went back and looked*; through the first 19 episodes, they’ve sold five houses. That’s bananalands. Potential Commission: $124,793. Actual Commission: $0

Thank everything that is holy for the Oppenheim brothers. Sure they let all of this go down around them, but at least they themselves are about the business and occasionally make deals while the cameras are rolling.

I hate this show so much. On a completely unrelated note, I will be unavailable from 8:30-9:00PM tonight.

*I did not actually do this.

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